It's No Diddy, But Free R. Kelly ?

Black People Are Weird

Certain things about one's culture and community can make you feel distant from it. For me, it's homophobia. 

The little comments and the jokes you think are funny but aren’t, the deep-rooted hate—and why? You would think a gay person had done something horrific to the Black community for the way we hate them. And even then, it still wouldn’t be justified. White people enslaved us for generations, and yet here we are, building happy blended families. So we can move past some things—but homophobia? That’s where we draw the line.

Some Black people are quick to defend or even worse, ignore or play dumb to certain things. A man kills a Black woman? We’re silent. Domestic abuse in Black homes? Nothing. Child molestation, pedophilia, rape, sexual assault? Some of us know murderers, but it’s still "Free him"? But let someone be openly gay, and suddenly that’s the conversation everyone wants to have. 

We rationalise things offensively. Trust and believe one thing a Black person will do is find a way to be angry at, excuse or justify the wrong things all while ignoring the real issue. But when it comes to gay people? Oh, we overreact with ease. Spend enough time in Black spaces, whether online, at the barbershop, or a family gathering, and you’d think being gay was worse than actual crimes. It’s laughable.

For people who have spent generations fighting for our liberation, why are we so comfortable denying it to others? And at a time when we are facing real, pressing issues: poverty, violence, mass incarceration, economic instability. Why is a person's identity seen as the greatest moral failing a Black person can have?

The Hypocrisy Is Loud

I saw a clip from The Roses Are Dead podcast where they mentioned that the Black community seemed to be more outraged at the idea of P Diddy being gay than by Tory Lanez shooting Megan Thee Stallion or R. Kelly abusing minors. Essentially, they were implying that many people viewed being gay as worse than shooting women or being a pedophile. And honestly, I believe it.

Puff Daddy (Sean Combs) & R Kelly - 1999

For years, rumours about Sean "Diddy" Combs' sexuality have circulated, sparking endless speculation. However, these discussions often overshadow far more pressing issues—such as the evidence of his abusive relationships with women and sexual assault involving minors at his infamous "Diddy parties." Yet the conversation continuously shifts back to his rumoured sexuality rather than addressing the actual crimes. This diversion is so prevalent that the phrase "No Diddy" has emerged in popular culture, used to distance oneself from any statements or actions that could be perceived as ‘gay’. Allegations of abuse, rape, and misconduct are met with less outrage than mere rumours of homosexuality. If his sexuality is of more concern to you then I suggest that you reevaluate your priorities.

And then there’s R. Kelly. A man whose abuse of minors has been well documented. Yet, somehow, the outrage was never as loud as it should have been. Instead of fully condemning him, too many people were more upset about how he “tarnished the Black legacy” than the actual abuse he inflicted. Our outrage, it seems, only goes so far. We make jokes like “He didn’t touch me” as if that makes the reality any less horrific. We debate whether we should separate the music from the artist as if talent should erase trauma.

So, let me get this straight: We can suddenly separate pedophilia, sexual assault, and molestation from the individual? Does that sound right to you? 

Some Black people are too quick to defend criminals, using the tired argument that “society always wants to bring a Black man down.” Well, rightfully so. Anyone who commits horrific crimes should be brought down. Or Am I the only one with sense?

Black People Are The Blueprint Right?

But what about Queer people? 

Who do you think attributed the foundation of the culture we know and love so much today? The blueprint is Black queer people and the impact of individuals, like Audre Lorde, Bayard Rustin, Alvin Ailey, James Baldwin and Marsha P. Johnson, on society and the culture we celebrate today is undeniable. These pioneers laid the groundwork for many of the movements and ideas we now cherish. Yet, the disrespect shown to the LGBTQ+ community is baffling, considering how much they've contributed and continue to uplift us all.

10 Black LGBTQ+ Trailblazers Who Paved The Way, JAKE YOUNG

Homophobia in the Black community isn’t just a thing—it’s historical, cultural, and deeply tied to colonial and religious influence. Before European colonisation, many African societies embraced gender and sexual fluidity. There were same-sex relationships, non-binary gender expressions, and communities that didn’t view sexuality in rigid ways. Then came European Christianity, bringing the demonisation of anything that didn’t fit into its heteronormative, patriarchal structure. 

Fast forward to today: Black people across the diaspora have inherited a version of Christianity that upholds strict gender roles and condemns queerness as unnatural. The same religion that was used to justify slavery, segregation, and oppression is now being used to police sexuality within our communities.

Black homophobia is not traditional—white supremacy profits directly from it. Under the white gaze, Black masculinity became so fragile that anything outside of hypermasculinity is seen as a threat. Black men have had to fight against these stereotypes of weakness and hyper-sexuality so anything that remotely challenges “traditional” masculinity (like being openly gay or even just not being aggressively straight) is seen as a threat. 

Young Black men today can’t love and hug each other, can't emote, can’t be vulnerable. This deeply embedded homophobia has been passed down, creating the toxic norms I grew up with, where men can't compliment each other without saying "No homo," where showing love or emotion to another man is seen as "weird" or "gay." Having debates about whether you’d rather have a gay son or a “thot” daughter? Weirdos.

I’ve seen this firsthand. I grew up in a Caribbean community where homophobia wasn’t just normalised, it was glorified. In Jamaica alone, there's one too many slurs for gay people, ways to degrade someone just for existing. It’s not just rhetoric, it's learned behaviour and the same people who claim to hate queerness so much will gladly consume lesbian porn, and fetishise lesbian and bisexual women. In the Caribbean and Africa, many countries still criminalise homosexuality, some even imposing the death penalty. Yet, African cultures once celebrated queerness long before colonisation rewrote that history with hate.

It simply proves what I have always known, slavery ended, but it never really ended.

What happened to love thy neighbour ?

Now, I love God but the Black community loves to defend its homophobia with religious beliefs. I’ve heard the excuse “It’s against my religion” time and time again. 

Well, so is lying, stealing, greed, pride, hate, being unforgiving, holding grudges & judging others. And if we’re going by those rules and regulations, then I hate to break it to you, but you yourself are against your own religion. Some of your entire personalities are sinful, yet you believe you’re in a position to judge? And when you judge, you judge the people minding their business while turning a blind eye to actual evil.

As a people, we have weaponised religion to make being gay be seen as more of a sin than being an oppressor. How about we deal with the attacks from the white man instead of attacking each other? 

What Really Matters? 

At the end of the day, Black people have real issues to deal with. Our communities are crumbling under the weight of racism, misogynoir, economic oppression, and violence. Instead of policing sexuality, why aren’t we focusing on:

• Black women dying at alarming rates during childbirth?

• The rise of mental health issues in Black communities?

• How systemic racism is stripping opportunities from Black people?

This is my final message to the Black community: For the people that went to school in the UK do you remember that sign in the halls? It read “Some people are gay. Get over it.” 

Yeah that. 

If we claim to be about unity, Black liberation, and progress, then we need to act like it. Supporting Black people means all Black people. 

As the attack on Black identity continues, homophobia within the Black community has become yet another tool to control and police ourselves. We hate people that are unapologetically themselves because a free Black person is the biggest threat to a racist system. At this rate, we’re just doing the work on behalf of white supremacists and I’m sure they'll thank you for your service.

There are bigger and more real threats, Black queerness is not one of them.

Who someone loves should be the least of our worries.

Mind your business and worry about yourself.