" I have been known to take over a man's life and sometimes make it my own. I realise how deeply ingrained the caretaker role has been in my life. Growing up I often found myself taking on the emotional labour of not just my family, but my partners too. Falling into this trap, I’d get so caught up in nurturing and supporting others that I would forget to prioritise myself and put his needs before mine. In my romantic relationships, I often took over in ways that felt natural but left me emotionally drained."
I appreciate the above being shared. I realize that my experience is necessarily limited. Having said that, I wonder if we sometimes give to others what we wish could be given to us? Maybe given back to us in a different kind of a way but still in a reciprocal manner. Selfless love that's too one sided can lead to resentment, bitterness, disappointment, and discouragement.
Is love supposed to be totally selfless? How do we ensure that we receive what we need from others? Is negotiation and bargaining necessary in relationships involving two adults? Should either partner treat the other as needy or as a young child? Does each person in a relationship have something to give and is it okay to expect reciprocity?
A really good read, love it 👏🏿
" I have been known to take over a man's life and sometimes make it my own. I realise how deeply ingrained the caretaker role has been in my life. Growing up I often found myself taking on the emotional labour of not just my family, but my partners too. Falling into this trap, I’d get so caught up in nurturing and supporting others that I would forget to prioritise myself and put his needs before mine. In my romantic relationships, I often took over in ways that felt natural but left me emotionally drained."
I appreciate the above being shared. I realize that my experience is necessarily limited. Having said that, I wonder if we sometimes give to others what we wish could be given to us? Maybe given back to us in a different kind of a way but still in a reciprocal manner. Selfless love that's too one sided can lead to resentment, bitterness, disappointment, and discouragement.
Is love supposed to be totally selfless? How do we ensure that we receive what we need from others? Is negotiation and bargaining necessary in relationships involving two adults? Should either partner treat the other as needy or as a young child? Does each person in a relationship have something to give and is it okay to expect reciprocity?