I absolutely love this! Why do black girls (or girls generally) even need to fit into an aesthetic? We don't need to dress aesthetically, social media has really brainwashed us to thinking that we must adhere to some sort of aesthetic. Sometimes we need to accept ourselves in just existing.
this post is so true, there is no need for everyone to conform to an asessthic (a word I truly struggle to spell) that doesn't express our individuality! asesthics should be used for stuff like homes not for how one looks.
What a read! So many thoughts coming up! Especially when it comes to the assumptions that men make about your preferences 😭😭 please, I still like the brothers even if I like “white girl” things
i needed this. often times i feel ugly not because i find myself ugly, but because i don’t fit into an archetype. it’s hard to explain to outsiders, but i feel this way when i’m passed over by black people on dating apps and irl. i know it’s because i don’t have a 40inch buss down and lashes that a lot of black girls have. i think that’s gorgeous btw but it’s just not me. anyway, because of this, i end up dating yt people — crazy how they’re the ones pursuing me and flirting with me, when black people pay me dust. it hurts my spirit dawg
I hear you. The feeling of not fitting into a certain archetype—especially within your own community—can be really isolating. Black beauty is so vast, but sometimes it feels like only a few specific aesthetics are celebrated not everyone wants to have that look and feeling overlooked because of it for lack of a better word is shit lol
And yeah, location for sure plays a role, but so do cultural trends and beauty standards that shape what’s considered desirable at any given time. It’s tough, but please know that your beauty and presence are valid, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. They are wack & you are amazing! Know you are seen and appreciated and beautiful!
Stay true boo x ( sorry it took me a while to respond)
This is spot on! Growing up in predominantly white spaces I thought when I go to uni I need to change everything to fit in. When I got to uni I realised I like braids and my natural hair and headscarves!
This piece is really really important. Especially in this economy and with the intense use of social media. Thank you for taking a beat to pull us back into reality.
Yes yes yes! Why are we boxing ourselves in when Blackness and the array of its beauty knows no bounds? I wrote about this similarly from a US girl perspective here as it relates to the high maintenance Olympics: https://anayotothe.com/p/high-maintenance-appointment-olympics?r=2gq8i
And I'm like are the girls not exhausted? We don't have to do this. Thank you for sharing these sentiments because I need Black women to know that you're just as fly no matter what form of "self" you choose to present to the world.
Exactly!! Like, who decided there was only one way to be that girl? Blackness is expansive, and we should be able to exist in all our forms without feeling like we have to keep up with some never-ending beauty marathon. And honestly… yes, the girls are exhausted! Had a read of the article & loved your piece too—so spot on. Appreciate you sharing!
I absolutely love this! Why do black girls (or girls generally) even need to fit into an aesthetic? We don't need to dress aesthetically, social media has really brainwashed us to thinking that we must adhere to some sort of aesthetic. Sometimes we need to accept ourselves in just existing.
this post is so true, there is no need for everyone to conform to an asessthic (a word I truly struggle to spell) that doesn't express our individuality! asesthics should be used for stuff like homes not for how one looks.
What a read! So many thoughts coming up! Especially when it comes to the assumptions that men make about your preferences 😭😭 please, I still like the brothers even if I like “white girl” things
I get it 😭 thank you for reading !🫶🏾
Very true, people love boxes and I love cutting them up and throwing them away! Some get very upset about it.
you've encapsulated my entire life struggle in just how many words?? thank you for this truly
Thank you for reading ! You are very welcome !
loved this piece! this is why i don't use the label ''weird black girl'' although my hobbies probably align with that image :)
i needed this. often times i feel ugly not because i find myself ugly, but because i don’t fit into an archetype. it’s hard to explain to outsiders, but i feel this way when i’m passed over by black people on dating apps and irl. i know it’s because i don’t have a 40inch buss down and lashes that a lot of black girls have. i think that’s gorgeous btw but it’s just not me. anyway, because of this, i end up dating yt people — crazy how they’re the ones pursuing me and flirting with me, when black people pay me dust. it hurts my spirit dawg
I hear you. The feeling of not fitting into a certain archetype—especially within your own community—can be really isolating. Black beauty is so vast, but sometimes it feels like only a few specific aesthetics are celebrated not everyone wants to have that look and feeling overlooked because of it for lack of a better word is shit lol
And yeah, location for sure plays a role, but so do cultural trends and beauty standards that shape what’s considered desirable at any given time. It’s tough, but please know that your beauty and presence are valid, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. They are wack & you are amazing! Know you are seen and appreciated and beautiful!
Stay true boo x ( sorry it took me a while to respond)
no worries on the response time — you got me tearing up nonetheless! thank you, thank you, thank you 🫂
this could be a geographically specific thing, i acknowledge that
This is spot on! Growing up in predominantly white spaces I thought when I go to uni I need to change everything to fit in. When I got to uni I realised I like braids and my natural hair and headscarves!
Came here from TikTok, what a great read!
Thank you so much!
so well said!
thank you !
This piece is really really important. Especially in this economy and with the intense use of social media. Thank you for taking a beat to pull us back into reality.
All of the above, actually
This was such a good read! this is every thought I have on being a black woman on social media and in the world right now.
thank you, i really needed to hear this.
I can’t even describe this ! amazing is all I can think of .
Thank you so much!
Yes yes yes! Why are we boxing ourselves in when Blackness and the array of its beauty knows no bounds? I wrote about this similarly from a US girl perspective here as it relates to the high maintenance Olympics: https://anayotothe.com/p/high-maintenance-appointment-olympics?r=2gq8i
And I'm like are the girls not exhausted? We don't have to do this. Thank you for sharing these sentiments because I need Black women to know that you're just as fly no matter what form of "self" you choose to present to the world.
Exactly!! Like, who decided there was only one way to be that girl? Blackness is expansive, and we should be able to exist in all our forms without feeling like we have to keep up with some never-ending beauty marathon. And honestly… yes, the girls are exhausted! Had a read of the article & loved your piece too—so spot on. Appreciate you sharing!